Not So Deep Thoughts: Random Ramblings

Just putting together this month’s issue of Tuff Stuff
when I decided to take a break and see what’s going on in the sports
world. I stumbled upon several interesting stories and felt compelled
to give you my two cents on them. For those of you checking the blog to
see if you were a winner in last week’s Beat The Blogger
contest, I’ll have the results for you first thing Tuesday so please be
patient and in the meantime, enjoy some random thoughts. C’mon, it
won’t kill you and you might even learn sBonds.jpgomething. Well, it definitely
won’t kill you, that I can guarantee.

Please Pass the Juice
Just took a quick look at some MLB stats and I noticed there
are several established sluggers who are struggling this year and I
can’t help but think it might have something to do with MLB’s new,
tougher testing for performance-enhancing drugs. While most believe
steroids and other PEDs turn singles hitters into Babe Ruth, the truth
is, steroids and other PEDs help repair muscle tissue quicker which
helps build stronger, more defined physiques, they also help with
hand-eye coordination, which as most ballplayers would attest to, is
far more important than being able to bench press an SUV. I’m not sayin guys like Jason
Giambi (.197), David Ortiz (.225), Grady Sizemore (.231), Jay Bruce
(.217), Dan Uggla (.223), Alfonso Soriano (.226) and Chris Young
are no longer able to bat their weight because they miss
the juice, I’m just sayin they sure do look thirsty at the plate these

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
I read where Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade said he would be happy to
$10000.jpgre-sign with Miami in 2011 if the Heat contend for the title this year.
Is it just me or does this sound a bit odd? Wouldn’t that equate
to your mailman telling you he’ll be back tomorrow if you go out and
get one of those cool mail boxes that looks like an outhouse and costs about two grand? Wouldn’t
that be like me telling my boss I’ll be back in when we become a
Fortune 500 company? I realize that Wade is only stirring things
up in an effort to persuade management to keep up with the Jones’ (in
this case the Lakers, Cavs and Celtics) and go out an sign an impact
player but enough already. Heat management should tell Wade exactly
what my boss would tell me if I went that route: Good riddance.

Instant Classic
When I was younger, I vowed never to start a sentence with: “When I
was a kid, blah, blah, blah.” But now that I’m older, I find myself
looking at the sports world in that same reflective manner that I
couldn’t stand when it was uttered by my elders when I was a no-it-all
school boy. Case in point came yesterday when I saw the highlights of
the five-set marathon between Roger Federer and Andy Roddick in
the Wimbledon final. I heard the guys on Sportscenter talking about
epic battles and they started talking about the match as being one of
the greatest in the history of the game. I’m no tennis authority by any
means but I’ve watched a volley (the term volley means a shot in tennis
where a player returns a shot before it hits the ground and proves I
know a little somin, somin about the game) or two but instantly turned
into my grandfather and started thinking of the classics from
yesteryear. Borg vs. Connors, McEnroe vs. Becker … Ah, who am I kidding, it’s tennis and nobody cares, let’s move on.

Favre Watch
I also read that Brett Favre was rumored to have been
looking at a new favrebfc.jpgcondo in the Minneapolis area. Thank God I didn’t miss
that one because I was ready to check into the local clinic with a bad
case of the Favre withdrawls. It had been almost 18 hours since my last Favre rumor disguised as a story and I needed my fix, baby. Actually,
while I’m still a fan and wish him the best in Minnesota, I am growing
a little tired of the 24-7 Favre coverage. Although the constant
updates have subsided somewhat and are now at more of a Manny Ramirez
pace, I can’t help but wonder if Favre and his buddies sit around
drinking beer in Mississippi and he gets all buzzed up and starts drunk dialing Buzz Cook (Favre’s agent)
until he final agrees to leak some information to the media regarding
his return. The way I envision it, Favre lays down an over-under
challenge with the boys on how soon before something appears on the
ESPN crawl and then sneaks off to the bathroom and drunk dials Cook.
His beer-swilling buddies tell him not even he has that kind of power,
but end up losing the titles to their Ford 150s when Favre’s prediction
hits eight minutes later. While I do understand this is the information age and we all want
our news yesterday, enough already. When Favre is five minutes away
from making his first start with the Vikings, I’ll start paying attention again. Until then, I’m good on the Favre watch.

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