We’re down to a little more than 12 hours left in 2009 and the first
decade of the 2000s. Here’s hoping the new year and the new decade will
bring some much-needed changes in the world of sports.
Don’t get me wrong, I love sports, always have, always will. But even a
model of perfection like the lovely and talented Miss Adrianna Lima (right), can have a bad hair day
from time to time (although that’s yet to be substantiated). So, while
sports and the athletes who participate in them provide us with the
thrills and excitement that we carry with us from year to year and pass
on from decade to decade, they could all
use a little makeover from time to time. With that in mind, I give my
wish list for the 2010 world of sports.
ChadOchoCinco: Let 2010 provide him with the courage to overcome
his fear of public speaking and his overwhelming shyness. Let’s get
this guy his own show on one of the premium networks so we really find
out what he has to say, uncut and uncensored. C’mon, we’ve all had
enough of Kim, Chloe and the wax museum-ready Mr. Jenner by now haven’t we?
Chris Johnson: Let 2010 provide him with the respect and MVP
award he deserves. This guy has outgained everybody in the league (by
more than 500 yards), he’s closing in on 2,000 yards for the season (a
feat only 6 others have achieved), has rushed for more than 100 yards
in 10 straight games and is one monster game against the Seahawks and
their pourous defense (they quit weeks ago) away from breaking the
all-time single-season rushing record. Take this guy off the Titans and
0-16 is a very real possibility.
Adrian Peterson: Let 2010 provide him with 1. A
coach/coordinator who isn’t so afraid to upset his
prima donna QB that he mishandles one of the premier running backs in
the league. We’re all aware that when you acquire a HOF QB your
offensive gameplan is going to shift its focus somewhat, but when you
allow your QB’s thin skin to affect your playcalling and you’re No. 1
threat isn’t utilized to the fullest, you open yourself up to non-stop
second guessing from fans and the media. And ithis particular case, all the criticism is justified.
2. A lifetime supply of Stickem.
Brett Favre: Let 2010 provide him with the opportunity to become
the NFL’s first player-coach. While many of us realize that Favre has that
power already in 2009, let’s make it official and give him full reign
next year so we can stop all the BS and the Vikings press conferences
can start supplying us with information instead of continuing to find
ways to disguise the truth and tip-toe around the questions being asked.
Mike Leach (Former Texas Tech football coach): Let 2010 provide
him with a three-hour “training session” with Craig James in a tool
shed and site to be determined. I’m thinking MSG, pay-per-view event. I’d pay $19.99 to see it.
Urban Meyer: Let 2010 provide him with the ability to make a
sound decision and stick to it. If you’re going to flip-flop on
retirement, learn from the best in the business and wait a couple
months before changing your mind.
Tiger Woods: Let 2010 provide you with the chance to make up for all
the fun you missed growing up as a golf prodigy. Take some time off,
vacation with your significant others and really get crazy and check
out all the stuff you missed while you were stuck practicing your game
all those years. OK, so you did that already. This time, you wait until
your divorce is finalized so you can do all those things with a clear
conscience. You can go knock down the ladies like 2-footers and when
the paparazzi catches you in the act, you’re just a single guy out on
the town enjoying your new-found freedom instead of a married guy
creeping around in the shadows.
PGA Tour: Let 2010 provide you with a new character or group of
characters that allows us fans to continue watching. With Tiger out of
the mix for an undetermined period of time, you guys are gonna need
something, anything, to keep you on the radar. Finding a real-life
Happy Gilmore is an idea but that might be tough. Maybe you could allow tackling while
guys are on the putting green like that commercial. Not sure, but you better do something or
your fan base will leave quicker than Elin did.
MLB Baseball: Let 2010 provide you with a way to start your
season earlier so the World Series can onc again be referred to as
the Fall Classic. When the Championship series is wrapping up at the
same time most of us are stuffing turkeys,
something is wrong. Start the season earlier primarily with West Coast
teams hosting or teams with roofed stadiums and you’ll get back on
track and the World Series will be seen by more fans because it won’t
be going head to head with the almighty NFL. Everybody wins.
NCAA Football: Let 2010 help you find a way to create a playoff
system so teams like TCU, Cincinnati and Boise State can be rewarded
for finishing a season undefeated. Nuff said.
Facebook: Let 2010 provide you with a way to eliminate all of
your users who feel obligated to post every single move they make
throughout every day of their lives. I brushed my teeth and used the
restroom this morning, too, we all did. It’s just most of us didn’t
feel obligated to share it with the rest of the world.
Twitter: Let 2010 provide you with a new format that allows Tweets
to be 175 characters instead of 140. While I like the concise posts,
sometimes I got a little bit more to say than 140 allows. Maybe we can
somehow work with Facebook and if you’re one of the few that only posts
relevant, useful posts that never involve bodily functions or any posts
that resemble: “I’m tired,” “I got a headache,” “Goin to sleep now,”
“Getting hungry,” etc… You get the bonus characters to work with.
Scott Fragale: A chance encounter with the aforementioned Miss Lima. Because I’m in a committed relationship, the encounter would simply consist of getting her thoughts on the modeling business, Victoria Secrets’ future plans etc… Basically just want to pick her brain about the world of fashion. Next to sports I find high-fashion the most … anybody buying this? OK, then I’ll stop the charade.
To all of my four (make that three loyal readers, c’mon mom step it
up), thanks for following and I hope everyone has a great 2010.