Future NFL Draft predictions have gone from mocks to mockery

In case you didn’t get the memo, the NFL Draft’s foray into prime time
was a huge success. Held in prime time for the first time,
ESPN’s three-day telecast had 3.7 million viewers, up 27 percent from
2009. According to Nielsen Media
Research it also attracted 2.85 million households, second most in draft

history, up 24 percent from last year. nfl-draft.jpg

ratings for the third day (Rounds 4-7), when guys from Presbyterian College are all the rage,
increased 10 percent. Just so you comprehend the overwhelming
popularity of the NFL Draft, consider that “American Idol” execs were
said to have been on hand in New York trying to pick up tips from Draft
producers in an effort to increase their ratings. “Dancing With The
Stars” is currently in negotiations with Mel Kiper Jr. and Todd McShay
to have the all-knowing duo become the first all-celebrity tandem in the
show’s history so
you know the Draft has gone TV-viral.

Because of the immense popularity of the NFL’s annual lottery, anybody
has ever watched a game now feels compelled to provide their own
analysis of what unfolded in New York last weekend. And because all of
us Draftniks can’t get enough of this stuff, almost as quickly as Chris
Berman made his last uninformed, misguided piece of useless information,
McShay and Kiper Jr. were kicking out their Draft projections for the

I understand that projecting draft spots is almost as fun as Berman’s
nicknames were 20 years ago (enuff already, time for some new material
Mr. Comb-over), guesstimating who will be the top pick in next year’s
Draft is like predicting what gas prices will be in 2037.

But because we simply can’t get enough of a good thing, I want to take
things one step further and present my top-5 picks for the 2018 NFL
Draft. The telecast will of course be on Pay-Per-View for price of
$89.95 or a mere $.41 per pick. The telecast will begin with a
fresh-out-of-rehab Whitney Houston singing the National Athem and
totally nude (no wardrobe malfunctions to worry about here) Lady Gaga
taking care of the halftime festivities, as the first round now takes a
30-minute break after pick No. 16 before coming back for the final 16

One thought on “Future NFL Draft predictions have gone from mocks to mockery

  1. Paul on said:

    We are all made of gold. Those of us who know the perversity of the draft analyzation. It seems like ESPN was bought off by the South a long time ago.